Fireproof … “Never Leave Your Partner Behind”
One Picture is Worth a Thousand Words … Unfortunately, until Fireproof comes out on September 26, 2008, we’ll have to settle for 1,000 words.
Life matters seem as timeless as true love. Pilate: What is Truth? Haddaway: What is Love? A Night at the Roxbury or the honor code of a chivalrous cavalry? Does True Love exist or does it only happen in the movies? Tough questions about the meaning of life are already answered in our hearts. For validation, one might ponder upon Making Choices and Professor Kreeft’s “pearl of great price.” While Professor Kreeft’s approach is somewhat different than Mr. Cosby’s “call outs” on personal accountability, sex, drugs, gangs, language or rap, the crux of their causes bears many similarities. According to Professor Kreeft, “Music is like images: it communicates more powerfully than words … In fact, the tradition says that in music or by music the worlds were created … I suspect that if Jesus were teaching today he would produce great movies and TV shows. His parables were really little mental movies. They were not only pictures, but moving pictures.” Needless to say, when it comes to “moving pictures,” it’s easy to treasure such classics as The Ten Commandments, Quo Vadis and The Passion of the Christ. Yet, even though some of our other treasures are rare and at times, questionable, they seem to be in a class all of their own: Inherit the Wind, A Man for All Seasons, The Alamo, Remember the Titans, Mr. Holland’s Opus, Ghost, Awakenings, Angles in the Outfield, City of Angels, What Dreams May Come, Patch Adams, The Chronicles of Narnia, Bella, Walt Disney’s Enchanted and Ben Stein’s Expelled … With movies and all media having such a powerful impact on our culture, perhaps we need the magical MO of Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day to awake traditional practical preaching on true love, fidelity, beauty, swans, left or right, good or bad, priceless and worthless, wise or educated, pearls and swine or all other perils in life. Ya think?
Needless to say, because True Love is Eternal, so is our quest for True Love, even at the movies. Fireproof promises to be yet another movie about True Love—yet, if the ending does justice to the Hope presented by the movie, Fireproof might be one of the most SPECIAL movies of our times. After all, the crux of the movie is right on target with the #1 Enemy & Danger to all children, singles, marriages and elders—adulteration of our souls and nation through faulty media trends & no-fault divorce or custody laws. To date, our enslavement is as obvious as the con-fusion created by faulty optics, sound bites and laws. Warning & Disclaimer: Although “Adultery” will be mentioned ad nauseam, its repetition will not be as frequent as the questionable mention of KKK in Bowfinger where proof of the real con is not in the movie but in Hollywood’s way of life.
THE LAW
One need not be a religious, psychological or legal scholar to comprehend God’s Commandment against Adultery. By now, too many of us already experienced the pain and damages from adultery in our own lives or in the lives of our relatives and society. With mental adultery being a precursor to physical adultery, facts of life confirm Jesus’ laws and warnings about adultery.
Teaching about Adultery: … “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt. 5:27-28
Sayings about Divorce: … “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” Lk 16:18
A Woman Caught in Adultery: … “’Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She replied, ‘No one, sir.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more.’” Jn 8:7-11
Those who are hard of hearing or heart and mind, will usually do the opposite—they will ”go, [and] continue to sin.” For those situations, Jesus also has a solution. Jesus: A Cause of Division: ”Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. For I have come to set a man ‘against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law-against her mother-in-law; and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’” Mt 10:34-36
THE PROBLEM
Moral Disorders (Excerpts from 1 Cor 5) … “But I now write to you not to associate with anyone named a brother, if he is immoral, greedy, an idolater, a slanderer, a drunkard, or a robber, not even to each with such a person … ‘Purge the evil person from your midst.’” Regrettably, instead of “purging” toxic behaviors, our laws and attitudes enable and empower addictions, abuse, abandonment and adultery. Ever since civil and religious laws such as No-fault, gets and declarations of nullity gave empowerment to adulterous geeks, “The strong do as they can … The weak must suffer.” According to Rabbi Shuley Boteach, cheating dishonors the cheater & the spouse. Some men cheat because “They can-so they do. And they have no morals, religious beliefs, or sense of commitment to stop them.” As for women, “they wouldn’t take someone’s watch or kidnap their children, but they believe it’s socially acceptable to steal another woman’s husband … In addition to being immoral and deeply hurtful to one’s spouse, cheating deprives a husband of the greatest erotic pleasure that marriage has to offer.”
To date, lack of private, religious, professional and public admonition of adultery prevents help and creates graver risks for perpetrators as well as for the victims. To make matters worse, protection for our children and separation from caustic parents, mates, leaders or laws is usually not an option mostly because majority of states eliminated protective laws of fault-based divorce and allowed hostile social trends to mute and damage conservative ideologies within all vital aspects of our society. As Judeo-Christian values continue to be overruled by modern laws, psychology & media, ethical empowerment continues to be a rare commodity. Oddly, even though most traditionalists have already addressed the hatred and degradation of traditional values and people in the public forum, most continue to ignore such damages and their devastation in private homes—yet, to be betrayed, abused or abandoned by a “loved one” is much more heinous and painful than to be betrayed or violated by a friend or a stranger. As such, why would most leaders give the “evil twin” the silent treatment and treat the private side of our society’s family Crisis as the proverbial third rail?
The answer is obvious, tragic and frightening. While experts tend to focus and fault our society’s family Crisis on poor marital preparation or parenting, accidentally on purpose they omit culpability of their laws, trends and abuses. After all, when children are groomed into dysfunctional behaviors from childhood, even the best marriage courses will fail to correct years of toxic ideas or habits, especially when toxic behaviors continue to be validated in private and in public. Likewise, even though Christie Brinkley was fortunate to validate her integrity, receive sole custody of her children and a just financial settlement, majority of divorced people will not. As such, any spouse attempting to help their mate or children is destined to fail because shared custody forces parents to care for their children without needed integrity or authority and in time, even the best of parents become negligent while children have to settle for physical protection without vital spiritual guidance for their entire lives. To add insult to injury, most causes of relationship problems and No-fault divorces are created by No-fault laws. After all, both spouses were good enough, smart enough, attractive enough and important enough to marry in the first place. Most of us intended to stay married for life. What has changed? Are scorned, victimized divorced parents acting ridiculous or are they being forced to obey unjust and ridiculous laws which leave them in helpless agony? If people could get justice in the privacy of Family Courts, why would countless victims have to beg for justice from shows like Oprah, Maury, Springer, Dr. Phil, the Internet, or through a grassroots movement reminiscent of the Underground Railroad? Why are millions being ignored or overruled by relatively few luminaries or mocked, brutalized, silenced and rendered helpless by the con-fused court of public opinion? While Catholics are beginning to have better media exposure than in the past, public figures like Mr. O’Reilly, Ms. Ingraham and Mr. Hannity mostly focus on political issues while catholic print media, internet, radio and television networks like EWTN mostly focus on religious issues. Consequently, even though all of the above programming serves an important role in our society, none of them address our society’s family Crisis in its entirety. As such, instead of helping, resultant disconnection caused by differing agendas actually fuels the wildfires of misinformation, con-fusion, helplessness and damages to individuals, families, faith and society. If a giant like the Catholic faith is falling, risk to other traditional religions and followers is even graver.
Needless to say, cultural differences between Amish, Muslim or Catholic faiths are quite obvious. Likewise, the nature of forced marriages is much different than voluntary marriages. Nonetheless, considering that reconciliation or faithful separation would be more beneficial to all troubled marriages, why are so many spouses big fans of serial divorces and remarriages. Even countless Catholics seem to falsify or skip decrees of nullity and opt for alternative lifestyles or remarriage. “To those who rationalize attendance at the ceremony or reception by saying that this does not mean approval of the adulterous relationship, or that they have expressed their disapproval verbally, we remind them that actions speak louder than words. How seriously will the couple take the verbal expression of concern when parents or friends are physically present at the wedding?” … “It would be wrong to cooperate in the evil act of adultery that will begin on the invalidly married couple’s wedding night by attending the attempted marriage or the reception. And it would be wrong to let such a couple stay overnight in one’s home” … ”Peace in the family at the expense of following the Gospel is a false peace, one that will never compel the couple to come to grips with the danger of losing their eternal salvation. Our Lord spoke out against this kind of false peace.” – Catholic Replies, James J. Drummey. Yet, unless one has the cooperation and love of their mate, laws or trends guarantee that experts will force most of us to ”Peace at Any Price.” By now, almost all of us have been there and done that!
THE RESOLUTION
God’s laws are clear & simple … Tragically, most civil and religious laws are as clear as mud. History and differences between all religions are elementary—by their nature, the Catholic Faith is different from Evangelical, Protestant, Baptist, Jewish and all other faiths. Nonetheless, even though religious practices will differ and clash, daily practical applications of one’s faith should not. In fact, Fireproof should prove that basic individual and family needs are one and the same regardless of gender, race, age, status or religious orientation. As such, lack of consensus on religion-specific ideologies is understandable. However, lack of consensus from religious leaders and followers on the Commandment against Adultery is irrational and dangerous as hell—most religions have their own set of laws regarding marriage and divorce: Catholics do not recognize adultery as a valid reason for divorce while others might consider adultery as the major or only valid reason for a divorce. Unfortunately, because there are grave differences between decrees of nullity issued by the American Catholic Church and Rome, the unconstitutional nature of No-fault divorce enslaves most Catholic families into double-jeopardy. Consequently, the only means of protecting marriages and children is through addressing the main culprit and point of agreement—ADULTERY. Adultery is a mortal wound or sin within all traditional religions as well as a grave violation of cultural American values. Because of our ideologies and proven personal experiences with the vile roots and fruits of adultery, NONE of us have the right to marginalize or invalidate the existence, violations, agony or damages caused by adultery. Ignoring the major cause of divorces creates endless cycles of abuse as well as inability to protect individuals and families from other violations which are less evident but almost as painful and dangerous.
After all, what comes first: the cart or the horse? “You shall not commit adultery,” comes with an automatic law, order and guarantee that if you do not commit adultery, ”You shall not divorce.” To argue over laws of separation or divorce without addressing adultery is a waste of human resources and lives. With all divorces being directly or indirectly rooted within cycles of emotional or mental and physical adultery, there is NO excuse for religious, psychological or legal liberal approval or indifference to adultery. The heinous nature of adultery is validated within top 10 laws issued by God and it is also verified by the pain and damages within our own spiritual & physical reality. As such, with religious, emotional, intellectual or physical adultery being the main cause of most divorces, by default of no-fault laws, it is also the main cause of divorce from God for victims and perpetrators.
Even though countless separated or divorced spouses manage to remain faithful to God and their family, such injustice or suffering is not only inconsolable & unconscionable but also avoidable and therefore, negligent. With violated adults being deprived of justice, protection of one’s child is not even an option. In a country where religious & civil freedom is our right, having the right to remain silent and violated is an abomination. Civil and religious laws are clear: “Traditional morality forbids cooperating with the evil act of another.” Unfortunately, shared child custody laws mandate the opposite—violated parents and children must cooperate, enjoy and facilitate with felicity most of the obscenity or grooming from the adulterous spouses as well as pay for all the damages for the rest of their lives. Social, legal and psychological support for shared custody has created an unprecedented catastrophe for all victims of divorce—ignoring emotional abuse or adultery not only invalidates the suffering of the victims but also empowers the perpetrators to degrade innocent spouses as well as to manipulate their children and the entire “system.” As such, violated parents are treated with hostility by the perpetrator, family members, friends, coworkers, lawyers, therapists, judges and the court of public opinion. While all atrocities are highly detrimental, to be innocent yet vilified or mocked in front of one’s child, or in time, to be scorned by one’s own child is a travesty unlike any other—with children and families being the ultimate essence of life, constant rejection from loved ones becomes inconsolable and makes all other endeavors meaningless.
“Hypocrisy is only dangerous when forced upon others without their knowledge or consent.” Naturally, there is a big difference between misinformation and willful ignorance or enabling of the perpetrators. As such, only hypocrites, bigots and most of all, sociopaths are highly dangerous. With tomorrow being promised to no one and with endless con-fusion inflicted upon us daily, resolution of our Crisis is a matter of life and death. Given proper empowerment, honest religious or non-religious lifestyles revolve around self-discipline and love—contrary to modern bunk about hostile and intolerant traditionalists, hurtful thoughts rarely linger while cruel or violent actions are not an option. For most conservatives, even self-defense is often sacrificed to help or protect others. As such, hurting of animals would never be in character much less hurting or betraying one’s “loved ones.” Although occasional bitterness, justified anger and con-fusion are part of everyone’s life, conflict resolutions may vary—some Catholics’ MO are rounds on their Rosaries while others rely on personalized prayers, psalms, music, psychology or even a mental hug with their child, spouse, parent or friend.
If truth be told, mere desire to obey God’s Commandments and Constitution might create a safer, saner or cleaner environment than all current laws in the world. With all that being said, separation of church and state is a figment of someone’s imagination and misinterpretation. With God being at the foundation of every prayer, decision and action in one’s life, unless one desires to be a moral-schizophrenic, it is humanly impossible to separate God from private and public lives. Even if such a separation was possible, a country founded upon Judeo-Christian ideologies, should discourage such actions instead of incorporating them into laws. As such, our current reality is a sad but true confirmation that private or public separation from good or God is an absurdity as well as an impossibility. Nonetheless, private separation within a dysfunctional relationship or marriage is at times a vital necessity—to protect all children and spouses at risk, a “faithful” separation is a must while a divorce is nothing more than what it was from the beginning—an excuse or law for “hardened hearts” and malicious or adulterous abandonment of one’s responsibility, family and God for the sole purpose of adulteration or remarriage.
Because a husband and wife create the optimal environment for each other and for creation of life, marriage is for life. “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord. She is more blessed, though, in my opinion, if she remains as she is, and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” 1 Cor 7:39-40. Needless to say, those men and women who wish to remain single for life, also have that option: “I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided.” 1 Cor 7:32-34
“Great & rapid changes in human opinions have been produced far less by the force of reasoning than by the authority of a name.” No religious or secular scholar can deny that public TV, radio, print media and the “experts” of the AMA, ABA and APA have evolved into Central Intelligence Agencies for our society. As such, with power comes an even greater responsibility. If truth be told, this is an offer they can’t refuse! After all, when our children needed encouragement to expand their horizons, the National Library Association was wise enough to join forces with the producers of Happy Days. A few words from da Fonz & registration for library cards in America went up 500%. Naturally, we’re talking of a situation where only a few lines, from one man on one show, brought a phenomenal 500% inspiration & help for all our children. If our leaders were into US instead of dysfunction or their own agendas, private & social corruption would have been over years ago! Tragically, the results are in. “How happy are today’s ‘liberated’ people?” According to Professor Kreeft, “The best measure is the suicide rate. Since the 1950’s, the suicide rate among teenagers has gone up 500%.” Have people and their needs changed or has our private and social environment changed? One would think that those “experts” or “illluminaries” still clinging to their smoking gun or their ”blame, shame and scam the victims game,” could benefit from a reality check so all their victims finally have someone looking out for them! After all, just as a coin has two sides, whether we trust in God or whether we trust in the greater common good, a “Wise and Contrite Heart” is the only pill that will cure adultery and all other ills of our society. ”Hate the Sin and Not the Sinner - Mohandas K. Gandhi.” Quite obviously, none of our leaders have a valid excuse for hate crimes, con-fusion or continued adulteration of our souls and nation.
What will it take to end our Crisis? “The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns momentarily from the herd & thinks for himself.” Hopefully, with Fireproof as a catalyst for a long awaited intervention it can also become a sparkle for our long overdue progress.
“The deepest principle of Human Nature is the craving to be appreciated.” From a religious standpoint, our first priority should be Adoration of God, Jesus or the Holy Trinity and Family. Our secular priority applies to the same principle: “Honor Your Father and Your Mother.” Naturally, parental responsibilities towards children speak for themselves: “Fathers, do not provoke your children in anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph 6:4 … As such, whether Fireproof will be viewed as a Catholic Converter or an ignition key to our Social Renaissance, if True Love does triumph at the end of the movie (as it should), incurable romantics might find Fireproof and True Love to be a “match made in heaven.” … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”
